I've Learned

We all know this quote is truthful. I can personally admit I have done all of this! All before I left high school.

This past week we began the beginning stages of planning our 10th year high school reunion. I helped our class president add people into a Facebook group that was created, I grabbed my yearbook and started typing in names. We found all but three from our class! But then I sat there looking through my senior yearbook, I cried!

We were so hard on ourselves then, I don't know if everyone was but I know I was. I never felt like I fit in with anyone besides a few people. Honestly I had told my husband that I really didn't want to go back. It's been 10 years and I can honestly say I have spoken to maybe around 5 or 6 people from our graduating class. So why go back? So you can judge how much better your life is than theirs? So you can gloat about what you do?

I can honestly say that is not my reason for going back. I want to go back to see people who I have not seen in 10 years. I want to go and mend fences with a few people who I have hurt. I want to rekindle my relationship with a few close friends that I have let time, distance, and my stupidity get in the way of.

While I sat there looking through my yearbooks I realized how much I have grown in 10 years. I was quiet in high school (for those who know me now I know it is a shocker) and I kept to my clique of friends. I guess you would call me a nerd or awkward. I left my school in the dust when I went to college, I didn't want to be known as a "Riverside Snob" or known just because of where I went to school. I decided that I wouldn't let what people thought of me hinder me any longer.

We all wanted to fit in during our high school years and we wanted to be accepted and to be 'cool.' Once I got to Tech I wanted nothing to do with my past, I appreciated where I came from and everyone who had helped me but I wanted to figure out who I was and what made me happy. I became close friends with someone who graduated before me from my high school but that was my only tie to it.

It took a while for me to stop caring what people thought of me, but when I finally did I was truly happy. I began to come out of my shell and I realized that I was trying to be someone who I wasn't. I was wanting to fit in and to be liked by everyone and that is no way to live. I wanted to be free and not worry about those who didn't care about me.

'Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind' -Dr. Seuss.

I kept that in my head, yes it was our class' quote but it meant so much to me during the first year in college. During this time in my life I was dating the man who I would end up marrying, he even said he could tell when I became 100% comfortable in my own skin because it made our relationship so much better.

I know we all grow and we all find our way in this world but sometimes it is nice to go back to our roots and feel secure in ourselves when we do. I think that is the main reason I want to go back to our reunion, I want to see who has grown, who has changed, and who has remained in their high school bubble.